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Note to David: We were entertained. Somewhat.
I know you are an 18 year old young man. I know you are a serious artist. I know you want us all to respect you for your music and for your deeply amazing person-hood. But honestly, the charming/adorable/cuteness quotient in this video is enough to save all the Invisible Children in Africa, improve the quality of life for the underprivileged in India and cure MS all at the same time. Not to mention ushering in world peace and putting an end to global warming. Plus, children with serious illnesses in future may ask to simply watch your vlog on replay when they want a special wish to be granted. Watching you releases endorphins and increases serotonin levels. You can do that. You should own it.
This is what I learned from your vlog after my cheeks stopped hurting from smiling.
Amphitheaters. You love them. They are nice. You love the sun. It is nice. You love being outside. Also nice. You love Jordan and Demi and KSM. And sheltering people from the rain. You love having your full . . . motion. . . back and days off. You love your friends. You love just about anything and everything. In fact, besides fish soup, I’m not sure we’ve discovered anything that doesn’t make you happy. Logically, I have to believe you are real most of the time, but until we find out more of your dislikes and things that make you upset, I’m gonna’ have to leave the ‘he might be from another planet’ option open.
Your voice is back! This. Very important. Your Voice is a National Treasure – make that an International Treasure – and needs to be protected at all costs. I would hate to have you lose it and not be able to find it, like how you lost Ashlee in the vlog. I hope you have contacted Lloyd’s of London to insure it. And I am serious about that. All allergies should flee in shame at attempting to derail your Voice. In fact, fans are in the process of petitioning Obama to replace all WMD’s with Neti Pots, Throat Coat and organic honey and to have Dean Kaelin at the ready on the other end of the crisis phone in the Oval Office. Allergy meds to the rescue!
Ashlee. She is a massage person. A singing massage person. A very brave singing massage person. Brave to sing on stage with The Voice and brave to endure all of your fans ladle-ing her with love. And apparently you are not too happy when you can’t find her. Aha! Something else you don’t like!.. List of Things David Doesn’t Like: Fish Soup. Ashlee not being available when you want her. Allergies. KSM being gone. Not being able to sing.
Your voice is back Part 2!! You can make a vlog because you can talk. And it makes you as happy as being in an amphitheater. Or hearing a Foo Fighters song backstage and being reminded of Cook and the Idol tour. And singing in that random utterly-amazing-most-singers-would-kill-to-be-able-to-sing-like-that high voice which you seem to do with no effort at all. While you are flailing and spazzing over the song, we are flailing and spazzing over 2 seconds of you singing it. So, would you two stop being coy and just call each other already? By the way, I heard Cook was tipsy recently and was really missing you. We know you won’t ever be tipsy, but apparently when you are on hard-core-street allergy meds you start petting Mike’s guitar on stage. Just sayin’
Speaking of allergy meds – again – my children used to get a little loopy and a little hyper when they’d been on decongestants for too many days. Not meaning to imply that you were loopy or hyper or distracted or anything. Not at all. It’s just that I’d like to see you when you are on an infamous ‘sugar high’ just to compare behaviors. I would imagine it could be somewhat entertaining. Normal David. Allergy-med David. Sugar-high David. IS there a difference? Congress should begin debates on this issue immediately.
So, Boom-Boom, ‘there goes my hero’, full-motion arm rolls, missing KSM, protracted good-byes that end abruptly. What else did I learn? Oh yeah. The tour is going by so fast and will soon be over. Technically speaking, your last show at the Alaskan State Fair is on my birthday. I did not want to celebrate this occasion without my family but have you seen the price of 6 round trip tickets to Alaska lately?? Pshhhhh. Not doable. I have tuitions to pay and shelter from the rain to maintain. I looked into dogsled rentals but in fact I would have had to have started the journey in 2008 to get there in time. So even though we won’t be celebrating together, have a wonderful time in Alaska and don’t be too sad when it’s over. List of Things Mom Doesn’t Like: Sad David. There will be more tours in the future, you will be recording and writing, and you have many wonderful things to look forward to in your life in the next little while.
We will always be here.
So thank you for the amazing music, the opportunity to connect and re-connect with our Davidfan friends, the epic VIP’s and your shining example. You have made a lot of people happy this summer. Job well done, David, job well done. Buh-Bye!